All my life, I had wanted to be famous in school or other places, doing different things, such as performing on stage, leading a school team of anything. And by being famous I meant walking around school and everyone would know you and say hi to you with a tone that you will feel like you are like a celebrity or a king. Well, but it never really happened during my school life, although not whole because since I am still grade 9 now but I did went through 10 years of school life and nothing like what I wanted happened, do you know why, well, because I was a coward, a coward that was too scare to even act like myself in school.
The reason why I was scared is because I was scared that people might laugh at me, well I think it's because it happened to me before and that became a bad memory that is forever stuck in my mind. When I was in primary, I enjoyed performing for the whole class, even the whole school, I remember very well, in an English book there was a part where we need to be singing, the teacher arranged it like some drama stage, and I was the character who needed to sing, well let's just say it end up like a show, everyone were watching and they were shocked by my singing skills, yea, everyone was like "woah" and some just went "Dude, host a show, Ima' watch you for sure!!!" well of course some might come up and tease me, but I don't really care because I know they were just jealous of how good I sang. Well, yeah, you might think "Yea, you see Rex? It ain't so bad, performing, everyone liked it!!!" Yea, that was like primary school grade 3, we were all kids and we all act the same, we play like kids, run around like idiots and cry because of stupid things. Now let's come to secondary, where we start becoming more of a teenager, I went to a new school, new people, new teachers, bla bla bla, all that. In the school, I am like the smallest boy, since my birthday is on November, which is like the end of the year while the others are like April, August or even January! So you can say they are one step ahead of me, or 3 steps or 5 steps whichever you prefer. So I was smallest boy, I still have that thought of "Let's have fun, this is school, isn't it? YAY!!" well I wanted, and I did, well, let's just say it didn't end well. Because you see the other boys are like teens and I am still on the stage of still-growing-into-a-teen, I played around and performed, all the people in my class, laughed the shit out of me, comments like "Man, you childish", "Ahahaha, kid of the week!!", "Do it again, you stupid punk!!" flies into my ears, and I was standing there like "Woah, what? You guys DON'T enjoy that?" and I was plain confused and walked back to my seat, I performed for a few more times and got the same response everytime again, so, peer-pressure changes you, well, it sure did to me. I started feeling embarrassed, I started feeling like a ridiculous kid, and soon enough, with all these pressure, I stopped, just literally, stopped, halted every single fun thing inside of me. So yea, I just go to school like a dumb kid with my bags on and say hi and same old shit, nothing much comes out of me, I guess that's good, because I stayed low profile for a few weeks or months, I forgot, and the teasing and stuffs vanished, but that's not what I want, I am not "Famous" anymore, not what I wanted, but I couldn't do it, because I was scared that my friends will laugh at me, so I just stopped, not much people talked about me anymore, I remember some people even forgot about me.
You see, I lost the "famous" throne, because I was a coward, I was too scared to go on stage and show them what I CAN DO!! You know what, if I hadn't pussy out, I bet now I am the most famous and talented kid in the whole campus!! But no, instead, I am just a tall kid following other people around like a dog and failing at every subject. But I met some other friends, yea I broke our "friendship" with those people who laughed at me, remember this "If they laugh at you, they are you enemies, if they support you, they are your friends". I met a couple of new better friends, they don't really care what other people think of them, I once asked them "Don't you guys feel embarrassed when everyone laughs at you??" Because you should have seen them in action, he pretended to be a monkey running around the classroom during English class. He just answered with "No, fuck them man, don't care about what they say, be yourself!" those words changed me and now I go back to my normal self, I perform, I do what I want because those haters can go to hell!!!
Lesson learned: Don't care about what they say about you, because they don't control your life, they can go to hell. You control your life and you do whatever you like, as long as it's legal, of course.
"Well you know what? Boost up the confidence, man up, don't be afraid to try, just do what you like! Pussying out is for losers and you're not one" That, that verse was from my crush, which, I don't want to talk about it, because it was a sad story, but she did change my life and I always keep that in mind when people laugh at me. So when other people laugh at you, you can just think "Fuck them, can they do any better? No, so they laugh because they are laughing at themselves 'oh, I can't do this, I suck so much'" and if you have the guts, yell out "Can you do any better? COME ON STAGE AND CHALLENGE ME!!" and then all the people will know, who's the king. So don't make the same mistake as me or you will never reach your dreams and become the KING!!!
Rex Yiu 2013
